25 August 2007

Matchmaker, Matchmaker

A couple of weekends ago my friend Ashley and I were rocking the Best of the Bay party at the DeYoung (hooray for Nan Kempner and paper flowers) when we were hit on by the woman to the left of this text (and if you click no other link in this post, click that one). While I waited in line behind her to pay the parking machine she chatted me up about the event, thinking that it was an exclusive deal put on by the SF Bay Guardian for their customers ("I used to advertise with them"), and seemed sorry to find that it was actually open to the unwashed masses. She starts asking me pointed questions and, by the time Ashley came around with the car, she had a camera out to take our pictures. Why?

She runs a professional matchmaking service. And she had a client in mind for me.

Now I'm not here to discuss the merits of dating, or internet dating, or executive offline matchmaking, or blind dating, or speed dating, or mail-order brides. But I would like to discuss how I got into the position of letting a complete and totally sketchy stranger who wanted to set me up with older asian men take my picture. MORMON GIRLS ARE NICE. Perhaps too nice. Now maybe you're a Mormon boy who would care to take issue with this statement, but I'll leave you to that offline. All I know is I couldn't put off this woman, who was essentially a stand in for some awkward man out there, without feeling like a total jerk, so I gave her my least-favorite email address and let her take my picture. So did Ashley. I can't explain it.

I've been trying to imagine the potentially humiliating things that might result from this encounter and the list has gotten uncomfortably long. Do me a favor: if you find my picture in one of those ghastly "where is she now?" classmates.com pop-ups, please let me know.


Mz. Liz said...

Mormon girls are nice. Or we're afraid of hurting someone else’s' feelings cause then they'll write us off as mean and surly and then they'll know that we're Mormon and then when the missionaries come to their house they won't let them because they'll think every Mormon is surly and unkind and they'll forever dwindle in unbelief and it will be all our fault. And no amount of jello or casseroles can fix that. Maybe Sis. Forester's chocolate chip cookies can though... THOSE are nice.

Every day I'm a step closer to crazy-cat-womanhood said...

Hmph. There's barely a Mormon out here, let a lone a nice one...and I don't think I count (seeing as I'm so mean ;)

Kaahl said...

as an older asian man myself, i will let you know if your pic turns up in my inbox.